This Full Moon
by MoonlightMystery13.3
Summary: Merlin, looking over his adventures, discovers every one of them occurred on the full moon! At last, the evidence Gaius needs to prove the full moon makes everyone go crazy! A silly explanation for Camelot's constantly full moon. Complete crack that not even I take seriously. :) A special thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed my stories thus far. You rock!


Merlin gazed out the doorway of his room, and stared in disbelief down at the papers held in his hand. This was insane. Welcome to my world, he thought wryly. Every adventure he'd had from coming to Camelot to the recent retaking of the kingdom after Morgana's reign were on one piece of paper, and the other was a large lunar calendar. After once again comparing the two pieces of paper that he held, Merlin walked into the main room where Gaius sat preparing a potion.

"Well, Gaius, it looks like you're absolutely right about your Full Moon theory."

"Oh, really? Why do you say that?" Inquired Gaius as he selected a leaf from a nearby jar, and dropped it into his bowl.

"You know how I've kept a record of everything that's happened in Camelot?"

Gaius's hand jerked in surprise and resulted in a thick cloud of purple and green smoke as a whole bottle of wolfsbane ended up in the potion. Coughing, he opened the window and began to fan the smog out with the potion recipe.

"No," Gaius coughed as soon as he could speak. "I most certainly did not. Do you how dangerous that is, to leave a record of your magical adventures just laying around where anyone could read them? Whatever possessed you to do such a thing?"

Merlin looked exasperated. "Oh, come on, Gaius! How many people do you know that can read Welsh mirror writing? Besides, you should be glad that I did; This completely and indisputably proves your idea that people go crazy and accident-prone during the full moon."

Gaius appeared torn between lecturing Merlin about his carelessness and asking the proof he had. Eventually, he decided on the latter. "How?"

Merlin laid the papers on the table, and handed Gaius his spectacles. "I was just looking at the dates of our exploits, and I had the idea to compare them to a lunar calendar. Well, every single problem, quest, war, and uprising has begun to take place on a full moon. See? I even arrived here on a full moon."

"Why, you're right, Merlin, I suppose that this really is the proof I've been looking for."

"Yup. And now you can call off that study you were going to perform."

"Actually, all things considered, it would probably be best to continue our plans for that experiment."

Merlin felt confused. Here was the proof Gaius had wanted! Why was he just throwing it away?

"Why, Gaius? Isn't this enough?"

"Well, Merlin, there is the slight problem that we cannot show this to anyone without revealing your magic," Gaius said slightly sarcastically.

"Ah. Yes. I didn't think of that," Merlin replied sheepishly. "But couldn't we just give everyone the official version of events, and still pass it off as a study, without mentioning my magic?"

"Well, we can try. Though I doubt that the Arthur would want some of these occurrences brought up."

"True. I'll let you decide. Here're the dates, and here're the calendars. If I were you, I'd write it up and present it to the scientific community right away."

Later...

"So," Merlin asked eagerly, "How'd it go?"

Gaius stumbled dazedly over to the bench and sat down heavily. "Apparently I didn't edit enough unknown information out of it."

The smile melted off Merlin's face. "Is that a problem? Should I start running to get a head start?"

Gaius tilted his head to one side and considered the question. "Yes and no. It was rejected as an experiment, but they took it anyway."

"Really? But- Hold on. What are they going to do with it if they didn't think it was a valid experiment?"

"They want to make it into a storybook series. Apparently, it's a new idea to make books for children so that stories aren't just verbal, and they decided that your records were the perfect material."

"What?"

Gaius nodded. "That was my reaction as well. Who would have thought that your life would make a popular story? They said that they'd change the names and places, and some other minor details to make you and Camelot unrecognizable."

"Pfff. That will definitely work."

"Indeed. It promises to be truly awful."

Mentor and apprentice looked evenly at each other a minute. Then, suddenly, Gaius spoke.

"Then again, I really would enjoy seeing the finished product."

"You too?" Merlin slumped in his seat by the table. "You know, Gaius, they'll totally and completely ruin it, but, well..."

"You're curious as to how they'll ruin it."

"Yeah, something like that."

"Mm. Then it's agreed?"

Merlin grinned ruefully and nodded. "Yep. We'll give them the story."

Gaius smiled. "I thought you'd say that. Well, I'll go catch them before they close, and I imagine Arthur will be wanting his dinner soon. And I'll be needing some more wolfsbane, seeing as mine is all gone."

"Oh, alright. And we know that wolfsbane, vanilla oil, comfrey, and frog mucus make a colorful explosion. Hm, I wonder how Arthur will react to knowing that I'm a storybook hero?"

"I shudder to imagine..."

Yep. Just your average day in Camelot coming to a close.

Even later…

"They sealed me inside a tree?! And I supposedly let it happen? I demand to speak to my writer about this!"

Gaius, wisely, said nothing, and did /not/ remind Merlin that they'd been expecting something of the sort. It was simply more entertaining to watch his ward fume about it. He smiled, and sat back to listen to Merlin's rant. He wouldn't miss this for the world.


End file.
